Super Bowl XLIX is mostly remembered for Malcolm Butler’s game-sealing interception for the Patriots. However, Doug Baldwin pretending to poop a football in celebration is its most under-appreciated moment.
Think about this for a second — it’s the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world every single year. Only a handful of guys who have even played in the NFL can say they’ve appeared in the game. You’re Doug Baldwin, not only playing in a game that every kid dreams about, but actually scoring in it.
And he celebrates with fake defecation:
There are any number of celebrations that Baldwin could have done in this moment, and he chose to drop a deuce. He shit on the competition, if you will.
NBC did not show Baldwin pinching one off, because apparently if it did it would’ve poisoned the minds of our nation’s youth, or something like that.
Baldwin would have been an even bigger hero if he pretended to check Twitter and/or Instagram on the can. (You’re a goddamn liar if you’re reading this right now claiming you don’t do that on at least a semi-regular basis.)
He would later state his inspiration for the turd, which seems to be mostly a spur-of-the-moment decision:
“I spent a lot of time those two weeks prior to getting ready for that game just focused on my individual matchup with him and I put a lot into it, and in that moment, I guess you could say it was just kind of a built-up frustration I was letting out in that sequence, you know, between [Darrelle Revis] and I,” Baldwin told ESPN. “Obviously there was competitive stuff going on in that game, and in that moment, I just let out what I felt personally.”
Baldwin ended up apologizing for the celebration, which cost the Seahawks 15 yards on an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. He also said if he could go back and do it all over, he wouldn’t have [Ella Mai voice] poo’d up.
However, that’s not how dookies (or time in general) work, and for that we are thankful. There couldn’t have been a more appropriate game or place for Baldwin to fake a shit during the football game.
It’s the Super Bowl, after all.
Nope, not sorry.