2019-07-10T21:30:05+00:00)

Ashlyn Harris’ Instagram reached peak levels at the USWNT parade

The best party in sports keeps getting better.

In the wake of the USWNT’s incredible World Cup win we learned goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris is one of the most gifted storytellers in sports. Following the victory we got a look in the locker room that highlighted the team celebrating, sharing apples, singing Migos, and twerking.

It was an absolute delight, followed by slight pangs of ennui as we all feared maybe this Instagram journey was just a moment, frozen in time, that would be lost as the team moved on from the win.

HELL NO, IT WASN’T!

The USWNT traveled to New York to prepare for their victory parade Wednesday, and somehow Harris’ Instagram journey became even more amazing. Everything about this team is a joy and I never want this party to end ... ever. It’s impossible to rank the best moments from Harris’ latest story, but let’s try.

  1. Megan Rapinoe posing with the cup saying “I deserve this. I deserve everything,” as if she was on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
  2. Harris yelling “We’re on a float, bitch!”
  3. Commandeering an ABC news microphone and taking over the show.
  4. Realizing things were coming off the rails, yelling “It’s getting sloppy. It’s getting f***ing sloppy!”
  5. Harris and Alex Morgan singing “Who Run the World (Girls)” on the float.
  6. Harris and Rapinoe yelling “Are you not entertained, bitch?” like they were in Gladiator.

You owe it to yourself to watch the whole story unfold, because I can’t do it justice in text form. Just know it’s rather NSFW (but we wouldn’t have it any other way).

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